If I was a grasshopper, I would let the lawnmower run me over..., "why?" you ask, simple.Grasshoppers brains are too small to feel pain.

Sometimes when I close my eyes,I feel like i'm moving at a million miles an hour, but I open them and my head is stuck on the steering wheel and the guy in front of me is screaming.

If I were a monkey, I would be a flying one.

Don't ever laugh at a midget, they have strong arms and their punching range ISN'T your face!

Don't eat your own ear wax, ears might grow on your tounge.That would be scary.Soon you'd be yelling "Quit chewing in my ear!" at yourself.

Sometimes people make fun of me, or try to.I hope they realize it has little affect.The way I see it, they can't comprehend my comprehension.So........ who's ice for up cream?

Never judge a cook by it's blubber.

If I could have a billion dollars, I'd pay Dave Davie's college teachers to give his masters degree to him early so he could come back to Young Life.